REST

From the Hope Writer's January Writing Challenge: Rest.

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with rest. I love the idea of resting, yet I find it near impossible to rest at home.

There’s always a need. “I need a drink of water, mama.” “I need a boo-boo bandaid.” The house needs cleaned. Diapers need changed. The dishwasher needs emptied…and reloaded. The laundry needs washed, dried, sorted…AND put away. The floor needs swept, bathrooms cleaned, and I just stepped in something that I have not the slightest clue what it is. My business has needs. Emails. Bills. Call a friend. You know… it never stops. They’re all things I enjoy doing… for the most part (minus stepping in something random), but it’s an ever growing list of needs. It. Never. Stops.

Then there’s the cultural narrative to put MY needs before everyone else, and I feel stuck. If I do that, how will anything get done?

I am absolutely FOR self-care, but within healthy boundaries. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the victim mindset that MY needs come first, and I’m being starved and neglected because I’m constantly giving and doing. Instead of thisdraining narrative, I focus on this.

At the end of each day, I rest in the fact that I gave the day my BEST. Did every need get met? Nope. But are my people happy? Yes.

I rest in little moments. Hearing Mia tell herself “Don’t give up, Mia,” again and again while playing Trouble, feeling Arie’s little hand on my face while he drifts off to sleep saying, “I love you… so much,” and seeing Mateo light up when I walk into the room, feeds my soul and pushes me through the hard (because there’s a lot of hard in mommin’).

I also rest in the fact that I am loved and treasured from the one true Jesus. He feeds me and gives me true rest from worry, anxiety, and the victim mentality call on mamas today.

However tired we may be, we have plenty of good, true, and sweet things to rest in. For all the things we do as mama to bring life and magic to those around us, we need to dwell on things that bring life to us. Things that harbor joy and love, not discontentment, resentment, and anger.